Thursday, 20 March 2008
Tuesday, 11 March 2008
Trying to peel the covers
Well today I just don't feel like getting up. I have chronic fatique and often have trouble getting up, but today it seems I'm glued to the bed.
I Look around me and the place seems like a huge mess. I live in one room mostly because I Have deformed hands and feet, and the feet part has been a huge factor in my life. I was born with amniotic band syndrome (ABS) and it caused my hands and feet to not develop properly. After allot of surgery as a child things didnt seem so bad for me and I learnt to cope. But as I got older , im now 29, my feet got more painful. I had surgery 3 times to try and fix i ( no mean feat if you consider how long it takes to recover from one!) and each time it got progressively worse. I now live with intense pain in my feet and legs and take a barrage of drugs to try to keep it at bay. But I am digressing the reason I live in mainly one room is because I live in a normal 2 storey house, but using the stairs is like trying to walkdown a slide. I am trying to sort this as it means I am unable to cook or go out without help.
I dont usually eat during the day as the dreaded stairs and the resulting pain beats the hunger urge everytime. I once was a confident, go getting type of girl, but now ive been reduced to this!
I have the funeral of my parents neighbour to go to tomorrow and I have to drive there tonight as I cant get up early and drive due to the chronic fatique. My parents have gone on holiday to the US and I am there to represent the family. The neighbour was an elderly lady who died in her sleep and I am told to expect a big turn out. The terrible thing is that what bothers me most is my back. My back is very sore of late probably due to my lifestyle and using my wheelchair alot. Trust me there is nothing worse than having to sit and be polite whilst the pain in your spine is gnawing away at your sanity.
Its about 3:15pm at the moment and I may get some sleep to see if I can shake of these blues I'm feeling. Next big decision is what to wear, you dont have to wear black do you? well I suppose I'll find out soon enough.
I Look around me and the place seems like a huge mess. I live in one room mostly because I Have deformed hands and feet, and the feet part has been a huge factor in my life. I was born with amniotic band syndrome (ABS) and it caused my hands and feet to not develop properly. After allot of surgery as a child things didnt seem so bad for me and I learnt to cope. But as I got older , im now 29, my feet got more painful. I had surgery 3 times to try and fix i ( no mean feat if you consider how long it takes to recover from one!) and each time it got progressively worse. I now live with intense pain in my feet and legs and take a barrage of drugs to try to keep it at bay. But I am digressing the reason I live in mainly one room is because I live in a normal 2 storey house, but using the stairs is like trying to walkdown a slide. I am trying to sort this as it means I am unable to cook or go out without help.
I dont usually eat during the day as the dreaded stairs and the resulting pain beats the hunger urge everytime. I once was a confident, go getting type of girl, but now ive been reduced to this!
I have the funeral of my parents neighbour to go to tomorrow and I have to drive there tonight as I cant get up early and drive due to the chronic fatique. My parents have gone on holiday to the US and I am there to represent the family. The neighbour was an elderly lady who died in her sleep and I am told to expect a big turn out. The terrible thing is that what bothers me most is my back. My back is very sore of late probably due to my lifestyle and using my wheelchair alot. Trust me there is nothing worse than having to sit and be polite whilst the pain in your spine is gnawing away at your sanity.
Its about 3:15pm at the moment and I may get some sleep to see if I can shake of these blues I'm feeling. Next big decision is what to wear, you dont have to wear black do you? well I suppose I'll find out soon enough.
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